While Tidying Up with Marie Kondo demonstrates simple ways to keep your home in order and Queer Eye reminds us that getting a haircut regularly is good, The Goop Lab, based on Gwyneth Paltrow’s rich white lady lifestyle brand, Goop, appears to be about as helpful as Goop’s crystal-infused water bottles are affordable. Netflix dropped a new trailer for the show Monday featuring Paltrow and Goop Chief Content Officer Elise Loehnen exploring “the universal questions we’re inherently curious about,” per a statement to The Hollywood Reporter. What are those universal questions? Unclear! But the answers appear to be…

Ideating wellness activations with all your fave girlbosses!

Crying after taking a buncha shrooms!

Trapping yourself under the ice of a very cold-looking lake because my husband, Wim Hof, told you to!

Acting nonplussed when your employee says she had an exorcism!

Looking at your vagina!

The trailer also features other buzzy, often expensive wellness trends like energy healing, psychedelics, and some kind of injection/chemical peel combo.

All in all, the trailer for Netlix’s The Goop Lab is pretty vague about its raison d’être, with Paltrow offering up all kinds of health and wellness solutions without ever really specifying why we might need these solutions in the first place.

Perhaps the lack of clarity is intentional! In 2018, Goop was forced to pay $145,000 over “unsubstantiated” claims it had made about various products it sells (that its vagina egg regulates menstrual cycles, that its Inner Judge Flower Essence Blend cures depression…) following an investigation by the California Food, Drug, and Medical Device Task Force. As part of the settlement, Goop is bound by civil judgment from engaging in deceptive marketing—i.e., outright saying that Gwyneth’s new Netflix show is going to tell you about something that will cure anything that ails you.

All that said? I will absolutely be tuning in when this minimalist car crash premieres on January 24. Watch the trailer below.

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Follow Harron Walker on Twitter .